new fear

i had the worst dream of my life....I went to sleep at 1:15 1nd woke up at 1:45....in 30 minutes I discovered a new fear. When I was little, I used to have nightmares. Sleeping in my parents bed was not uncommon for me. I was soooo afraid to have nightmares that I would fall asleep EVERY night talking to Jesus. "no bad dreams jesus, no bad dreams jesus, no bad dreams jesus, no bad dreams jesus...." over and over until I was asleep. Then I discovered I could wake myself up from a dream. It was amazing! For years now, I've been waking myself when I had a bad dream. 

So when I went to bed tonight, I had this funny feeling in my head. Like this deathly silence trapped in my head. I started having this bad dream so I tried to wake myself up and I would wake up in my dream....but I was still dreaming. I tried desperately over and over again to wake myself up. So more scarry than the actual dream was the fact I couldnt wake up. I remember even praying in my dream and casting the devil over. Cuz I had this feeling that he had this grip and me and was forcing me to live in the dream. 

I finally woke up. I have a terrible headache... When I got out of bed, I almost passed out. My eyes were blurry. yeah its wierd I know.

You know what...no

I will not let this blog die. But I admit, I have been lazy. I think of weird and interesting things all the time and I take them for granted so you know what this blog will live. Although this blog will take a slight detour from fredericksburg and move over to DC for a moment. Today I went to DC with some relatives that I love to death. These cousins are like siblings to me and we always manage to have a blast. This time though it was even more awesome since My Aunt Karen from California (Yes Caps are need) came to town so we could celebrate her birthday with her. We hit some of the monuments and had alot of fun but one particular monument stood out to me. And it may be cliche but I do not care. We stopped at the Lincoln memorial and walked inside. There were people eberywhere taking pictures, kids scurrying around and despite the "Quiet Please" sign, it was a dull roar inside the monument. But as I turned to read the Gettysburg Address, it seemed to quiet down. This address really cut me to the core and it s really hard to explain why unless I post some of it on here so here is a bit of it. At least the part that stood out to me.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

I really have nothing to add. All I will say is, people like Abe are far and few between these days.

idk

Yeah I don't know if this is dead... I just don't have anything to talk about

[Posted via iPhone]

You people should listen better next time. When I pronounce something dead... It's dead.