Can I get a woot?
I just really wanted to post here. I miss the kind of community we all had before. Remember those skype chats? Those were the days. Is anyone on here still interested in having that kind of group back together. I know stuff has happened since then and we are all kinda busy but is there any chance we can make this work? I am willing to try. I really like having a group of friends Ic an just talk to about stuff whether its funny or serious. I love bouncing things off everyone who takes part in this blog and who took part in the skype chat. So if you're willing to try and revive "the group" again, lets hear a woot.
A note to Depression: "You Shall not PAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!"
Most of the time its a pretty crappy realization... Depression having many different forms and ways of entering ones life.
Family...
Friends...
Work...
And the occasional "Just because"...
It can really mess anyone up. So throughout my early life I found depression to be a "common" feeling... Showing that I was happy or angry was a sign of weakness or an unattractive quality in friendship. Making other people laugh was really the only thing I felt that was "right" or "good". Sharing ones weakness or fault felt like a huge mistake, and often this proved to be true. Life felt like a bleak colorless world filled with people who allowed themselves to succumb to their feelings or emotions and I as a person God called to keep his mind clear.
Drugs never seemed appealing to me. I could never see myself doing crack or any sort of medication, and even cold medicine or pain killers seemed like a stupid and weak way to deal with discomfort or pain. Really dealing with pain or sickness was a way to seem strong, tho I felt not to show that I was sick or in pain, but alas limping or coughing is rather ... obvious.
I feel as if I have veered off topic. Anyway... Depression has had a foothold in my life. Allowing me to be held down to bitterness, anger, jealousy, fear, and some others I care not to mention.
Recently I have found a foothold in happiness and joy... and I have to say it feels good... So now for a LOTR reference ...
Depression ... YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Also can you take your stupid friends with you?
new fear
i had the worst dream of my life....I went to sleep at 1:15 1nd woke up at 1:45....in 30 minutes I discovered a new fear. When I was little, I used to have nightmares. Sleeping in my parents bed was not uncommon for me. I was soooo afraid to have nightmares that I would fall asleep EVERY night talking to Jesus. "no bad dreams jesus, no bad dreams jesus, no bad dreams jesus, no bad dreams jesus...." over and over until I was asleep. Then I discovered I could wake myself up from a dream. It was amazing! For years now, I've been waking myself when I had a bad dream.
So when I went to bed tonight, I had this funny feeling in my head. Like this deathly silence trapped in my head. I started having this bad dream so I tried to wake myself up and I would wake up in my dream....but I was still dreaming. I tried desperately over and over again to wake myself up. So more scarry than the actual dream was the fact I couldnt wake up. I remember even praying in my dream and casting the devil over. Cuz I had this feeling that he had this grip and me and was forcing me to live in the dream.
I finally woke up. I have a terrible headache... When I got out of bed, I almost passed out. My eyes were blurry. yeah its wierd I know.
You know what...no
I will not let this blog die. But I admit, I have been lazy. I think of weird and interesting things all the time and I take them for granted so you know what this blog will live. Although this blog will take a slight detour from fredericksburg and move over to DC for a moment. Today I went to DC with some relatives that I love to death. These cousins are like siblings to me and we always manage to have a blast. This time though it was even more awesome since My Aunt Karen from California (Yes Caps are need) came to town so we could celebrate her birthday with her. We hit some of the monuments and had alot of fun but one particular monument stood out to me. And it may be cliche but I do not care. We stopped at the Lincoln memorial and walked inside. There were people eberywhere taking pictures, kids scurrying around and despite the "Quiet Please" sign, it was a dull roar inside the monument. But as I turned to read the Gettysburg Address, it seemed to quiet down. This address really cut me to the core and it s really hard to explain why unless I post some of it on here so here is a bit of it. At least the part that stood out to me.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
I really have nothing to add. All I will say is, people like Abe are far and few between these days.
Movies ... Bleh ...
Recently movie making has been ... Hard ... I've had trouble with just about every aspect of movies! ...
Actors, editing, and ideas .... It seems hopeless... Right now I have maybe four unedited movies and its getting on my nerves, mainly because my WiNdOwS (hate it so much) computer keeps closing the movie editing program for no particular reason. And when it comes to my actors they randomly sing or just start talking randomly ...
Ideas ... I have none ... but I'm trying to write scripts and such ... also making a big movie would be fun...
So sometime this month or next... I'm going to buckle down on ideas and stuff! Any beastly ideas?
- Matt //TheBread// Pokorny
So I need to post here
I really do. This is like a really cool idea and I feel bad for letting it like run away into nowhereville. So My life has been alright lately. I am getting the hang of work, school is manegable and I am like chilling with friends almost three days a week. PLUS THIS SAT I AM GOING TO KD!!! (Kings Dominion for the unsavy or just confused :P) Well I don't have much more to say so I guess I will post my april fools pic. I heart it. I look tough. Or like a drug addict. Or lindsay lohan. Or a lindsay lohan wannabe who is addicted to drugs.
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